When I was 11 or 12 years old I was introduced to a Christian artist named Mark Shultz. I know I have referred to a song or two of his in the past, but I am going to again. More recently one of his songs has really fit where I find myself spiritually and emotionally. So here goes me opening up using song lyrics....
I’ve been hearing voices
Telling me that I could
Never be what I wanna be.
They’re binding me with lies,
Haunting me at night,
And saying there’s nothing to believe.
Somewhere in the quietness,
When I’m overcome with loneliness,
I hear You call my name.
And like a father You are near
And as I listen I can hear You say
I've been hearing voices.
There are voices that like to speak to me when I am not paying close attention; the voice of Satan and his minions named condemnation, guilt, shame, fear, pain, and humiliation.
Telling me that I could never be who I wanna be
These voices like to tell me that I will never be able to be the daughter, sister, friend, wife, helpmeet, mother, or homemaker that I want to be. That I am not good enough and that I always fail and that no matter how much I pray and prepare for being a wife, helpmeet, etc, that I am never going to be that which I want to be.
They're binding me with lies, haunting me at night.
I will never be good enough. I am not really loveable or worthy to be cherished. I am a complete failure in my relationships with others. These and many more are lies that I will often hear and start to believe and be bound up with, haunted as I fall asleep in tears or confusion.
And saying there's nothing to believe
These voices love to tell me that there is nothing worth believing in. No real God who actually cares and sees and changes both lives and hearts.
Somewhere in the quietness, when I'm overcome with loneliness, I hear you call my name
The quietness is when these voices hit me; when I am in bed at night, when I wake in the morning, when I am in a corner of a room without any human contact, when I am riding home in a dark vehicle. But when I am overcome with the feeling of being alone at these times, wishing somebody would just come along and ask if I was ok, that is when I hear God call my name.
And like a father you are near, and as I listen I can hear you say
And after He calls my name, I am reminded He is near. In the midst of the lies, and the pain, and the hurtful words spoken by said voices, I can feel Him near. He is always there, just waiting till I seek after Him so that He can remind me. Remind me who He is, and who I am in relation to Him.
You are a child of Mine
Born of My own design
And you bear the heart of life.
No matter where you go,
Oh, you will always know
You have been made free in Christ.
You are a child of Mine
You are a child of Mine
He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will. -Ephesians 1:5
I am a child of God's!
Born of my own design, and you bear the heart of life
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. -Psalm 119:13-14a
God designed me just the way I am, and then let the Holy Spirit indwell in me, giving me a heart of life.
No matter where you go
You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. -Psalm 139:3
No matter where I am or what I am doing, God is there, and sees it all. He does not need to be clued in to what is going on with me.
Oh, you will always know. You have been made free in Christ
For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. -Romans 8:2
I have been set free in Christ and am no longer held slave to sin, death, or any of those fears that bind.
You are a child of Mine
...the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry "Abba, Father!"
-Romans 8:15
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