Preparing for a Future Valentine

Most would title this post "A Year in Review," but I was going for a title that would hopefully grab more readers. *cheeky grin* But in all honesty, the title I chose is much more fitting. It came to me in church this past Sunday. You see, on December 1st of last year, the first Sunday of the month, I was in a Calvary Chapel Church in Indianapolis, listening to a sermon on Romans 8. (Or listening as well as I could be when for the first time in my life, I was holding hands with a guy for an extended period of time with no shame). Then on December 7th of this year, the first Sunday of the month, I was in a Calvary Chapel Church once again listening to a sermon on Romans 8. It seemed a little weird to me, but at the same time that is where the similarities ended. This second church was in West Des Moines, IA. Instead of sitting next to a new suitor, I was sitting next to my younger sister for the 100th time in my life. And I didn't smile at the sermon, anticipating

"And the Lord said to Moses, 'When you go back to Egypt, see that you do all those wonders before Pharaoh which I have put in your hand. But I will harden his heart, so that he will not let my people go." -Exodus 4:21 I never really understood this part of the Exodus story. Seriously, it is something that I baffled over time and time again throughout my studies of the Bible. It was not one of those things that I glossed over because it didn't make immediate sense, and I was being lazy at that point. Rather it was one of those things I came back to time and time again, and just had to chalk it up to "God knew what He was doing, I guess. And after all, the Israelite people did eventually get free."  But I couldn't see why God had hardened his heart. Couldn't He have done the opposite? I mean, He could have allowed Pharaoh to say yes, and then all of those plagues wouldn't have happened. The first-born Egyptians would not have died, an

I was told by a coworker recently that I was one of "those" people. The type, she said, who went to church each Sunday, and volunteered at small businesses, and taught themselves to play piano. She even told her friend that I almost seemed Amish, and he mistaking her asked me if I was really half-Amish. At the time I found this rather humorous. The way the world views "my type" can be quite ironic. They think that because I don't cuss, and I don't join in making fun of people, and I can sing along to every song that plays on the Pandora Christian music stations, I am a pious person. A person who could really do no wrong. A goody-two-shoes of sorts. But I am not. See, what these people don't know is that I tell God pretty much every day that He isn't good enough. And if that isn't the opposite of pious, I don't know what is. What the world doesn't know is that since I was a young girl I had dreams like many other girls. But I let th

So for the first time this last February, I was not single on Valentine's Day. I had a special someone. He was, admittedly, two entire states away. But I had someone to actually take part in the day with. On Valentine's day I was falling in love. And it was quite delightful. Love had come knocking on my door, to use a corny colloquialism. Though I am no longer in a relationship, I did have a very special opportunity. I learned what it was like to be in love. How that changed a person, and how it changed how I spoke, thought, and acted. People would always chuckle at me, and say that I seemed to live and breath the man I was in love with. At the time that made me grin; yet today it is causing me to reflect. Both before, during, and after the relationship, there was a song that I loved to listen to by my favorite musician, Jason Gray . The title of the song was More Like Falling in Love. Jason speaks in the song of the desire to have a relationship with God that is more li

For those of my readers who are not personal friends of mine, you may find it interesting to know that I have never really been a poet. I tried to write a song or two that rhymed when I was little, and they were pretty laughable. As were most of the poems I wrote. I usually just stuck with "Roses are red, Violets are blue, etc" on my birthday cards, as that was about as good as it got. Side note: Violet's are not blue! They are purple. And the word Violet is also used as the color describing a rich shade of purple. Not bluish-purple. Straight up purple. But something interesting has happened in the last few months. My writing tastes have turned a little, and a few months ago I wrote the first poem that was anywhere near a success. Now, I am no Emily Dickinson, Robert Louis Stevenson, and certainly no Shakespeare. But I actually kept this poem instead of promptly burning it. Welcome His Kiss      Some may gain joy When it looks like rain But for me its the sun

I do not feel that it is fair to leave my readers in the dark on a very influential event in my life recently. I only hope that I can find the words to explain it with grace and dignity. Not something I have always been good at when I am in a place of pain.... The past 7 months were ones that I learned more and loved more than I think I have in the entire rest of my life. That may seem like a dramatic statement, but at this point in time I find it is the truth. But though I have learned much, and loved much, that chapter of my life has drawn to a close abruptly. And it is that abruptness of the loss of a dream that brings about grieving and will take time and God's grace to heal. "Which dream?" you may be asking. But I can't answer that just yet. First I want to tell you exactly what it was that God taught me in the past 7 months. I do that both so you do not leave this post depressed, and because I want you to keep reading. Sneaky author tactics, I know, but b

How to Use "The Lust Dare" Day #30: New Creation “ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” -2 Corinthians 5:17 So I told you a couple of times before that I had some particular struggles and fears in my intense battle with lust. Honestly, my biggest fear was that one day I would have to tell the man who wanted to court me and seek my hand in marriage that I had not stayed pure for him. That I had allowed myself to give into the sin of lust and indulged in it for a long time. That I had soiled my thoughts with impure imaginings, and that I had soiled my mind with the things that I read and reflected on.  See, I was a pastor’s daughter, and then later a youth pastor’s daughter. I had read multiple books out there about purity, I had been to all the “modest is hottest” conferences, I was holding tight to the plan not to kiss until marriage. I was clean, and pure, and inno

How to Use "The Lust Dare" Day #29: Whatever is Praiseworthy “I will bless the Lord at all times, His praise shall continually be in my mouth.” -Psalm 34:1 Today, as we finish out that verse from Philippians we come to the very last word that is given to think on. After true, noble, just, pure, lovely, good report, and virtue, comes if there is anything praiseworthy . We are to think on that which is praiseworthy. And who is more worthy of praise, than God Himself, the Author, Perfecter, and Creator? There was a man in the old testament, a member of the genealogical line of Jesus, who wrote many, many, words on the praiseworthy attributes of God. He praised God time and time again in his writing, and thus it is his words, inspired by God, that I want to leave you with. Remember as you read these and in the days ahead to think on that which is praiseworthy. “I will praise the Lord according to His righteousness, and will sing praise to the n

How to Use "The Lust Dare" Day #28: Be Merry “ And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry;   for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.” -Luke 15:23-24 4 weeks. It has been 4 weeks since you read the first day of this challenge, and did the first dare. For the past 4 weeks, i.e. a month, you have been actively battling lust and taking steps to set that sin aside and to fight the incredibly difficult battle. You have learned how to flee temptation, how to avoid temptation, how to replace fear with courage, love, and a sound mind, and how to replace impure thoughts with many different things. This has been quite a journey, and I think it is absolutely wonderful that you have taken these steps, and that you are on this path with me. I have been there, I know how hard it is, and I still battle the lust of the flesh every single day. It is a never-ending battle unti

How to Use "The Lust Dare" Day #27: Whatever is Excellent “But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue.”   -2 Peter 1:5 “Finally brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue…” Virtue? What does that mean? Well it is often translated as that which is excellent. We are called to think on and add to our faith that which is excellent. People like to display emo guys saying things such as “dood,” and “righteous,” and “wicked, man.” But another one they use when something is just truly incredible is “excellent.” They’ll draw it out real slow to make their point, and express their appreciation. It can be kind of funny, but I also like the picture of that. What do we think on that causes to slowly and with appreciation say “excellent”? I know for me, I would be l