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Learning to submit, honor, and respect.



These are my thoughts on how important it is to honor, respect, and submit to the male authorities(father, brothers, boss) God has given me. I can make wonderful food, keep a clean home, and have perfect children. But if I don’t treat my husband with respect and honor, then all those earlier things don’t matter.  It’s like those verses in Corinthians where it says “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.” (1 Cor 13:1-3)
It is like that in marriage as well. If I speak firmly to my children and keep them well trained, but do not respect my husband, I am like a clanging gong in my husband’s soul. If I have the power to keep a home, and am extremely wise, and if I have confidence in myself, so as to be able to do many things, but do not respect my husband, I am nothing. If I give away all my time, and deliver up my body to menial tasks, but do not respect my husband, I gain nothing.
So I wondered how I could practice this skill, as I did not yet have a husband. What I finally realized was that the way I treated the men in my life then, was the same way I was going to naturally treat my husband later. And that this was especially reflected in the way I treated my father and brothers, as they were the men I lived with from day to day. This realization caused a desire to honestly search and see what the Bible had to say about the way I should treat men.
The role of a woman was given very early in the Bible. “She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.”(Genesis 2:23b). “Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.(Genesis 3:16).
He shall rule over you. This was what God told the woman concerning the man. After looking deeper, I found that this is not simply one of those Old Testament commands that we are no longer held to. It is continuous throughout the Bible, even into the New Testament. “The head of the wife is her husband.”(1 Cor 11:3b), “Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.”(1 Cor 11:9). “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is head of the church…Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”(Eph 5:22-24).
As a young woman who had grown up in evangelical churches, one of the first places I looked for the role of women was in Proverbs 31. Though this chapter talks mostly about the more housewife type skills of women, there are a few bits in there that talk of the role of a wife concerning her treatment of her husband. “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life…. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.”(Proverbs 31:11-12,23).
These verses in proverbs speak of the way a husband should be able to trust, profit, and receive well from his wife.  All of the verses I found spoke of submitting, obeying, and respecting men. It is clear what God has called us women to do. Our role is to respect, honor, obey, and encourage the men in our lives. The men in our lives should be well spoken of, and people should respect them because of what we say of them.
So I began to reflect on my life. Did I obey and submit to my father? Did I respect my brothers? Did I encourage the men around me, or did I tear them down with what I labeled as “teasing?” Did the people I spoke to have respect for the men in my life because of how I spoke of them? I realized the incredible importance of this.
I could not think that I could disrespect my father, boss around my brothers, talk bad of my male friends, and still be able to be the wife someday that God wanted me to be, or that my husband would need.

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