Homemaking.... I remember being 19 years old, still living at home, and being the sole person in our home at the time to do the cooking and the cleaning in the kitchen. And I COULD NOT WAIT till I would have my own kitchen where I could decide that the dishes worked better here than there, and that I could leave the dishes to dry in a rack or on a drying mat instead of having to have them washed, dried, and put away before they were counted as done.
Of course, I understood that I was working in my mother's kitchen, so I needed to do things mostly her way and the way that made sense to her. But boy, did I dream of the day that I could do everything in the kitchen(as well as the rest of the house) in a way that worked best for and made the most sense to me.
But what I didn't realize was how limited I might be in my future kitchen(s). I didn't realize how little space I might have, the amount of money I would want to put into my kitchen but wouldn't be able to afford, and the limitations of the way my space would be laid out.
I have had 3 different kitchens now since I got married, 2 in rentals, and one in a home we owned. But all of them had extreme limitations(mostly space in all of them). And the story was the same for every other room in the house as well. What ensued from all this, has been an adventure of making the places I live feel like home....with hopefully some modicum of success. 😕
Along the way, I realized some things about myself when it comes to homemaking. And that is mainly what I hope to share with you today. So my key words for today are going to be Routine, Peace, and Place. And I'll explain to you what those mean to me.
Routine
"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,
making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.
Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is."
-Ephesians 5:15-17
I have found that I am a person who is most productive if I have a routine. Yes, I can be a total nerd in the way that I don't like to just wake up and "fly by the seat of my pants" or "take the day as it comes," but please don't stop reading here if you consider yourself a free spirit. Because firstly, we are all different in our approach, and this is just me telling you about myself without making any rules here. And secondly, my definition of routine may not mean what you think it means.
Anyways, I have found that my day works best if I have a fairly regular morning routine, evening routine, and each day kind of have a general idea of what my "plan" is for that day. I also should note that those morning and evening routines are constantly being tweaked and changed as my needs and my families needs evolve and change. But if I wake up whenever the boys wake up, and if I just go to bed when I get tired, and take everything in-between mostly as it comes, I get very overwhelmed and frazzled. EVEN IF there isn't a lot to be done that day. I think even my husband doesn't really understand this about me yet, as the poor guy is a free spirit who doesn't understand what is so important about my knowing what time he is going to want supper on a weekend evening.
So for those of you who are interested, let me lay out just a little of what this looks like for me and kind of how I plan my day between the two routines. For any of you who think this idea sounds really tedious, feel free to skip to the next part explaining my keyword Peace. 😉
My Current Morning Routine:
5:45 - Alarm goes off
6:15 - I actually get out of bed after hitting snooze way too many times.
6:20 - In my war room
6:45 - Exercise
7:00 - Get dressed and ready for day.
7-8 - Put away laundry(laundry room is right next to my basement bedroom), make breakfast, tidy until boys wake up, get boys up and changed.
8:00 - Breakfast with Bible stories, feed Hubby when he gets home.
8:30 - Hubby goes to bed and my actual day begins.
My Current Evening Schedule:
7:00 - Pack Hubby's food for work
7:30 - Hug Hubby goodbye
7:45 - Put boys down to bed, with story if I'm on top of things.
8:00 - Tidy up/waste few minutes on social media
8:30 - War room
9:30-10:30 - My time to read, watch something, or play a computer game.
Both of these can differ some, but I do tend to watch the time closely those times of day, and I can get frustrated if these times are off. Both schedules tend to differ the 3 days a week hubby is home, but I still really try to at least get that hour in the evening in my war room.
And then I usually plan out the time in-between mentally the day before. Wednesday I usually plan some fun things since it is the day I drag the most, Tuesday and Thursday I plan around donating plasma, Friday is usually shopping day(I also usually work on Thursday and Fridays), Saturday I have to allot a good 2 or 3 hours for baking/prepping food for the week, and Sunday I have church. Then I just tend to mentally plan in the cleaning/organizing that needs to happen into my remaining morning, and paperwork/blogging into my afternoon.
Homemaking for me means routine and making the best use of the time(Eph 5:16).
Peace
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you..."
-John 14:27a
I grew up in a very loud, fun-loving, rambunctious family. My mother still does a wonderful job when she is hosting events in her now large Victorian style home, to make sure everyone is having fun. You can find a variety of enjoyable board games like Killer Bunnies, plenty of coffee and creamer to keep everyone lively, adorable little signs about people being comfortable to be themselves, and spaces left open for grand-kids to run around and play with whatever suits their fancy. I think she might be happiest when there are 12 different conversations all happening at the same time in her home. She loves to offer fun to everyone who enters her home, and noise is not really a deterrent to enjoyment.
I found very quickly after leaving home that this was one way I was not wired like my mother. When thinking about a home someday, I wanted spaces filled with a soft light and flowers, and maybe some very gentle piano in the background. I wanted to have places in my home that someone could curl up with a book(or a computer game in my husband's case) and find peace and quiet to just relax.
I definitely desired a place, like my Mom, that anyone would feel welcome and comfortable, but in a much different way. I wanted peace... I wanted people to walk into my home, not as much with excitement in the atmosphere, but relaxation beckoning. I want my husband to come home at the end of the day and be greeted with the general quiet. My husband needs quiet, and this is the type of peace I really want to offer him.
You might be asking how I accomplish this with two very small and very strong-spirited little boys? And what about the mess that small children leave CONSTANTLY in their wake? We all know it takes being a mom to really realize how huge of a mess a granola bar could make in the wrong hands(ahem....small toddler). Well, it takes some ingenuity and a basic understanding of what peace looks like for me and my husband.
I will share with you a couple of the ways I seek to give my husband and I peace, but also understand I hope to share a lot more of my intentional homemaking in this area in future posts.
Problem: My husband can't stand sticky...
Solution: I always wash the boys up IMMEDIATELY after they eat. I do a quick wipe down of all surfaces my husband touches regularly. Anytime my husband isn't using his electronics, I store them away before the boys have a chance to touch them. I plan the least sticky meals possible for my husband to feed the boys while I'm gone, and don't mind if I need to sweep up some food off the floor when I get home.
Problem: My husband and I both despise screeching.
Solution: Like all families, we prioritize what children can and can't do and what they get disciplined for, and screeching(even when in fun) is at the top of our list. It is not allowed unless you are hurt. But high-pitched screeching at someone you are frustrated with, or just for fun, is not allowed. If needed we might take the boys outside or send them up to their playroom away from us to get some screeching out. I have even politely told a kid visiting before when they let out a loud screech in fun, that that's just not something we do in my house, and they are welcome to go outside if that is something they have the strong desire to do.
Problem: I don't like a stack of dirt dishes, or random things all over the floor, or my couch taken apart because my toddler threw all the pillows on the floor(keep reading, I'm not as anal as I sound).
Solution: I do my absolute best to just take care of all dishes right after use. Rinse and put them in dishwasher, or clean and rinse real quick and leave out to dry. My compromise between my need for a peaceful living room and my boys need to play is that we each have our own spaces. The living room is MOMMY and DADDY's space. Toys only are allowed if they are picked back up and taken back to the playroom before the next activity. I have created a corner next to the couch that MiniMe calls his "cave" so he can be near us with some big couch pillows to build and have fun with, but doesn't mess up my couch cushions constantly. The upstairs is for the boys. There are two whole rooms up there with their beds, toys, tunnels, any books that aren't library books, etc. They can make a big mess with whatever is out for them to play with, and there is room to race their cars around or run if they need to, there is a large mirror to dance in front of, etc. And we will tidy up most evenings, but whatever makes it the most fun for them is what we do since it is THEIR space.
So I make a purposeful effort to keep the kitchen and living room, where my husband mainly lives outside of sleeping and showering, calm, mostly quiet, and clean. I like them to smell nice and be somewhere that one can release the stress of the day and just be at peace.
Place
"But all things should be done decently, and in order."
-1 Corinthians 14:40
Thus one of the biggest struggles I have had with housekeeping, is the random items that seem to pop up all over my house that I don't have a place for. Enough to drive me crazy! 😝 So for me this adage is key to a peaceful and happy home and spirit.
This and so much more has been my adventure as it has come to homemaking. It is, however, an ongoing adventure, so I have created an entire page on my blog merely for my journey into Intentional Homemaking.
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