Hello! I am so excited for this post today, as I have invited my sister, Elana, to share a guest post for us!!! Elana is kid number 7 in my very large family, and has a blog of her own titled Made Beautiful. If you enjoy this guest post, please go and check out her blog. :)
Her blog is filled with beautiful thoughts and applications from Scripture, and in it she is refreshingly honest and open. I hope you enjoy her thoughts on Heaven as much as I did. So without further introduction, here is her post!!
What are you excited for? Some days heaven is the only answer
to that question for me. This world is not where I belong, it's not my home,
and I have a hard time feeling content being here. I don't think that's a bad
thing though. There's an ache so deep inside me it hurts, a longing and desperate
need to be with Jesus, to be free, to be safe, to stop wrestling with my selfishness
and sin and to just be held.
Life's hard for me because this world isn't enough, but I always
feel like it should be. There are days when I try to find some kind of hope,
some kind of peace, some kind of place apart from Jesus, and those days leave
me empty. There are seasons when I don't really believe he's here, when I
wonder why I'm still here, and when I long for heaven and heaven alone, those
are the seasons when it's hardest to hold on.
Hannah asked me to write this guest post today, and I said
of course, but the funny and awesome thing is that she had no idea how much her
actions have inspired me recently, and she had no idea how much God has been
working in my heart regarding this exact topic.
Here's a little back story:
A couple years ago, God threw me into some really terrible and
hard situations, and while I could've gotten mad and doubtful of God, I actually
grew a lot closer to him.
You see, I always tried to be the good kid who put on a good
face and a good attitude and didn't 'cause problems, I tried really hard to be happy
and strong enough to take care of myself, I didn't want anyone to worry about
me, and I thought that was what God wanted from me too.
I came to a point though in all my tragedy where I was exhausted
and tired of trying. If you know the song Worn by Tenth Avenue North, that song
was where I was at. I started thinking suicidal thoughts 'cause I was so tired
and wanted to be with Jesus. I remember one moment though, I honestly just gave
up because I just couldn't anymore, and that was the first time I really felt
the presence of God in my life. I felt like I was falling apart right into his
arms, he wasn't disappointed in me and he didn't leave me in my weakness, he was
right there with me when I felt completely alone. That moment changed me forever,
and for a long time I was so absolutely overjoyed to have God near me in life,
I was excited to live and see him live in me. My relationship and understanding
of who God is and who I am in him, it was solid and my enthusiasm was big.
Skip forward a couple years and I started redefining my
worth. I started trying to create a place for myself in this world. I started
putting pressure on myself to please people again. I was happy and I became so
afraid of losing that that I started trying to find joy in something besides Jesus.
I didn't pray a lot because I wasn't finding any fulfillment in it and it honestly
made me mad. My relationship with God kinda just went downhill from there and
praying, reading my bible and having faith, it became painful.
That was me until a couple weeks ago. Hannah started talking
about her war room, and about what she was going through. A lot of other people
who I had never really heard talk about Jesus were telling me all about their
relationship with him too, and I knew something needed change. I wanted to go
home and start my own war room too. I had a missions trip a couple days later and
while that week didn't leave me with any kind of spiritual high, when I came home
I felt distant, different, a little dazed, but completely at peace. All I
wanted was Jesus and time with him, and I've been spending lots of time in my war
room and in prayer since then.
I just might struggle with this whole people pleasing, being
good enough, living up to standards mindset for forever, and I'll probably always feel a little
insecure in this world, especially when I'm trying to place my worth in my own strength
and in the world's rewards. But in the arms of Jesus I feel known. I don't have
to prove anything to him, he loves me as I am. I don't have to worry if he'll leave
me, he wants me desperately and will never stop chasing me. I don't have to hold
myself together, he's got my whole life in his hands. I don't have to be good
enough, in my weekness he is strong. All those truths, and so many more, they help
me trust him, they cause me to worship him, and they make me excited to live.
I think a lot about heaven, I look forward to heaven more
than anything, I'm excited for the day when I get to see his face and be with
his people, when I finally understand and can see clearly, and when there's no more
sin.
The thing is that Jesus is alive, and he is near. It's true
that this is not our home, i's true that there will always be battles until we reach
heaven, and it's true that we should be looking forward to heaven and be living
with an eternal perspective. I wanna remind y'all though that we don't have to wait
for heaven to feel like we have a place, we don't have to wait to be held, and
we don't have to wait to be with Jesus. I know it's hard and it hurts to hold
onto faith, but we're not alone. There is purpose in being on this earth, and
there is a Jesus who is with us and holds us every step of the way. Heaven will
be the best place ever, keep looking forward to it and don't fall in love with
the world. In the midst though, remember that Jesus is the best anything ever,
and you don't have to wait to be near to him. And in the yearning and the
longing for something more, let it bring you nearer to Jesus and remind you
that there are greater things in store for us.
Other Post in This Series:
Imaginings-Heaven part 1
Till I See You Again-Heaven part 2
Angels-Heaven part 3
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