How to Use "The Lust Dare"
Day #18: Aid Guys in Their Battle
“For you, brethren,
have been called to liberty; only do not use
liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” –Galatians
5:13
Yesterday we talked about love, and
today I want to continue that idea in the area of loving our fellow believers
by aiding them in their own battle against lust. Specifically, I want us girls
to understand that we have the chance to either be a great roadblock in the way
of a guy conquering his battle with lust, or we have the opportunity to help
them in their battle.
See, God created men and women to
work the way that they do, and He created them differently so that they would
compliment each other.
“Isn’t
it wonderful how God has made men and women to interact with each other? He
made men visually oriented, then made women beautiful. He made men initiators,
and then designed women to enjoy being pursued. In the heart of a man is the
innate desire to romance and win the affection of a woman. God plants a longing
in a girl’s heart from a young age to make herself attractive. All this is part
of God’s wonderful design.
“Understanding
God’s plan will helps us see where lustful desires will seek to sabotage the
original purpose. Lust always starts with something good-like a mirror at a
carnival, it takes God’s design and then distorts it.” –Joshua Harris
See the fact that guys are so
incredibly visual and visually stimulated is not a lust thing, it is not a sin
of the flesh, it is God-incorporated. But lust loves to distort that God-given
trait into one that causes man to fall into temptation. Lust is not just a guys
battle, but their battle looks a little different than ours.(The following
differences are pulled from Joshua Harris’ book as well)
- A man’s sexual desire is often more physical, while a woman’s desire is more often rooted in emotional longings.
- A man is generally wired to be the sexual initiator, and is stimulated visually; a woman is generally wired to the sexual responder and is stimulated by touch.
- A man is created to pursue, and finds even the pursuit stimulating; a woman is made to want to be pursued and finds even being pursued stimulating.
So how do we help our Christian
brothers then? Well, first of all you just need to realize how aware guys are of your body. You don’t
have to have your version of a perfect body in order for barely a moment to go
by that a guy isn’t aware of your body. I think a lot of Christian gals don’t
realize how much what they are wearing affects the guys around them.
I knew a girl once who would wear a
mini-skirt. It wasn’t that short in today’s society, but she wore this skirt
once to a youth thing, and this guy who was friends with both her and I said something
along the lines of “Hey, your skirt is really distracting. Could you maybe be a
little more discreet in the future?”
This girl was appalled. She thought
that the young man was trying to tell her what to do, and was judging her
because she wore more revealing clothes than his sisters did. She thought he
was just portraying his ideals of modesty onto her. But in reality, the young
man was really just pleading. “I am trying so hard to avoid lust here, and that
skirt really is not helping!” It was a plea for help, not a judgment.
One of my favorite novels that I
have ever read had a scene in it where a Christian gal realized how what she
was wearing really affected the guys around her.
David
stared at Kate and then abruptly blurted out, “Just why are you wearing such a
short skirt anyways?”
“What?”
“Your
skirt. Why is it so short?”
Kate
tried unsuccessfully to pull it down. She squirmed uncomfortably. “Well, it’s the
style, and I thought you would like it.”
“Of
course I like it, That’s the problem!” David started pacing again. “And what
about the other chaps? Do you think they’ll like it too?”
“I
don’t know.” She added defensively. “What if they do?”
“What
do you suppose men are thinking when they notice you in a skirt like that?”
“Well…I
suppose they think I look nice or pretty.”
David
stopped in front of her and sadly shook his head. “Yes, they are thinking that.
But my dear girl, they are also thinking all sorts of things-terrible things
that you would really rather they didn’t.”
As
his meaning dawned on her, Kate answered faintly. “I had no idea.”
“Well,
now you do. So perhaps you’ll consider not stumbling the young men around here,
including your helplessly sinful tutor.” He added gently. “Would you please
wear longer skirts or your student’s robe to future tutorials?”
I hope that after today, you will
not be clueless like Kate was. And that you will listen to the plea of David
and all other guys out there who are battling lust, and aid them by not wearing
things that will cause them to stumble. This does not mean that you have to
wear a gunnysack, or can’t wear a pair of jeans. I believe that God gives us
all different convictions. Just remember, as Shannon Harris would say, that
there is a difference between dressing attractively and dressing to attract.
“But beware lest
somehow this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak.”
-1 Corinthians 8:9
Today’s Dare
Become aware today of how the way you dress affects your
Christian brothers, and take a fresh look at your wardrobe with the new outlook
of dressing attractively, but not to attract. Start in helping your brothers
today by changing the way you dress and just being more aware of their battle
and the ways that they struggle.
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The Lust Dare: Day #10
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